Dear Listener,

I am sorry to say that the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are holding may be the worst of them all.

If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this audio will probably fill you with despair.

I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include: A perplexing word gamePhotos from The Lemony Snicket ArchivesArt from The Brett Helquist gallery

I will continue to record these tragic tales for that is what I do. You should decide for yourself if you can possibly endure this miserable story.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

Dear Listener,

I'm sorry to say that the audiobook you arc holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very beginning of this Program when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on to the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune. In this short audiobook alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast. It is my sad duty to tell these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from turning off this audio and listening to something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

After narrowly escaping the menacing clutches of the dastardly Count Olaf, the three Baudelaire orphans are taken in by a kindly herpetologist with whom they live happily for an all-to-brief-time.

Amazon.com Exclusive Content Jon Stewart on America (The Book) Sure, we could write a pithy blurb telling you all about America (The Book), by Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show, but it's much easier—and funnier—to let Jon Stewart tell you all about this irreverent book himself. Watch Jon Stewart talk to Amazon.com customers about America (The Book) from the set of The Daily Show. Read or listen to our exclusive interview with Jon Stewart. Read our exclusive Election 2004 interview with Jon Stewart.

In today's business world, information is everything - and no one gathers information more effectively than spies. So why not bring real spying techniques into your workplace? The same tactics used by CIA and KGB agents can also be used at offices and corporations of any size - and these techniques will help you get ahead fast! The Spy's Guide: Office Espionage features illustrated step-by-step instructions on tapping phones, sending anonymous e-mails, disguising your identity at a trade show, and much more. The authors also share real-life stories about how these tactics have been employed by professional spies in the CIA, KGB, Fortune 500 companies, and other settings. Advance your career with espionage!

The endlessly imaginative duo who turned cupcaking into a national pastime is back, with utterly new, eye-popping creations anyone can make. Create a race-car cupcake, a robot cupcake, or ravishing jewelry cupcakes for a birthday party. Surprise the family with Chinese takeout dinner cupcakes on April Fool's or serve up a goofy chocolate moose. Captivate Mom with a bouquet of  long-stemmed rose cupcakes and build sand castle cupcakes with the kids. All you need are candies from the corner store and cake mix and canned frosting.    So what is new, Cupcake? • Dozens of "EZ" projects that use just a few ingredients—perfect for kids and parties. • More pictures, brighter colors, bolder designs. • More faux-food creations— so real you won't believe they're cupcakes! • More comical critters and the cutest pets ever! • More irresistible party centerpieces to celebrate hobbies, from golf to knitting. • More spectacular holiday cupcakes: Valentine's, Easter, Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.   You'll end up with cupcakes so striking that you won't want to eat them — but so delicious you'll have no choice!

Photoshop is one of those programs that's so cool you just want to dive right in and start creating–but by plunging in head-first, without any guidance, you're likely to miss a lot. There's a solution: With this book, you learn by doing, getting your feet wet immediately as you progress through a series of hands-on projects that build on your growing Photoshop knowledge. Simple step-by-step instructions, review questions at the end of each chapter, and a companion CD with all of the book's project files make learning a breeze as the Adobe Creative Team takes you on a self-paced tour of the image-editing powerhouse. This bestselling guide has been completely revised to cover all of Photoshop CS2's new features, which include advanced tools for digital photographers, such as a new Spot Healing Brush for correcting scratches or blemishes, and Smart Sharpen for fixing photo blurring. Photoshop CS2 also includes loads of new creative tools, such as Vanishing Point and Image Warp. This comprehensive guide starts with an introductory tour of the software and then progresses on through lessons on everything from Photoshop's interface to more complex topics like color management, Web graphics, and photo retouching.

This offbeat, non-technical book looks at what hackers do, how they do it, and how you can protect yourself. The third edition of this bestseller adopts the same informative, irreverent, and entertaining style that made the first two editions a huge success. Thoroughly updated, this edition also covers rootkits, spyware, web bugs, identity theft, hacktivism, wireless hacking (wardriving), biometrics, and firewalls.

Zounds! Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, the ferocious tiger Hobbes, and the rest of Calvin's riotous imagination are all included in The Days Are Just Packed. Calvin, the irrepressible pint-sized tyrant, is always bursting with energy. And the volume's oversized 12-by-9 inch format provides Calvin's outrageous fantasies room to explode. Dozens of Sunday strips are lavishly reproduced in color for The Days Are Just Packed, along with Calvin's amusing weekday adventures.

When cartoonist Bill Watterson announced that his phenomenally popular cartoon strip would be discontinued on the last day of 1995, Calvin and Hobbes fans throughout the world went into mourning. Fans have learned to survive - despite the absence of the boy and his tiger in the daily newspaper. Now, like the wave of a sweet memory; comes one last chance to experience Calvin and Hobbes, in its final collection. Like the thirteen extraordinarily successful Watterson books that came before it, this volume promises to deliver all the satisfaction of visiting its characters once more. Calvin fans will be able to see their favorite mischief maker stir it up with his furry friend, long-suffering parents, classmate Susie Derkins, school teacher Miss Wormwood, and Rosalyn the baby-sitter. This collection, including full-color Sundays, has it all: Calvin-turned-firefly waking Hobbes with his flashlight glow; courageous Spaceman Spiff rocketing through alien galaxies as he battles Dad-turned-Bug-Being; and Calvin's always inspired snowman art. There's no better way for Watterson fans to savor once again the special qualities of their favorite strip.

Wil Wheaton has never been one to take the conventional path to success. Despite early stardom through his childhood role in the motion picture "Stand By Me", and growing up on television as Wesley Crusher on "Star Trek: The Next Generation", Wil left Hollywood in pursuit of happiness, purpose, and a viable means of paying the bills. In the oddest of places, Topeka, Kansas, Wil discovered that despite his claims to fame, he was at heart Just a Geek.

In this, his newest book, Wil shares his deeply personal and difficult journey to find himself. You'll understand the rigors, and joys, of Wil's rediscovering of himself, as he comes to terms with what it means to be famous, or, ironically, famous for once having been famous. Writing with honesty and disarming humanity, Wil touches on the frustrations associated with his acting career, his inability to distance himself from Ensign Crusher in the public's eyes, the launch of his incredibly successful web site, wilwheaton.net, and the joy he's found in writing. Through all of this, Wil shares the ups and downs he encountered along the journey, along with the support and love he discovered from his friends and family.

The stories in Just a Geek include:

- Wil's plunge from teen star to struggling actor
- Discovering the joys of HTML, blogging, Linux, and web design
- The struggle between Wesley Crusher, Starfleet ensign, and Wil Wheaton, author and blogger
- Gut-wrenching reactions to the 9-11 disaster
- Moving tales of Wil's relationships with his wife, step-children, and extended family
- The transition from a B-list actor to an A-list author

Wil Wheaton—celebrity, blogger, and geek—writes for the geek in all of us. Engaging, witty, and pleasantly self-deprecating, Just a Geek will surprise you and make you laugh.